Do you know what’s scarier than marriage?

As we overthink the idea of marriage, life quietly throws us bigger challenges
wedding-ring

Let’s be real, saying “marriage is scary” is too overrated. People often exaggerate it, painting it as this hollow, sad, and gloomy life—the worst of the worst. But is it really?

What’s scarier than marriage? The fact that life moves into its own phases, even if you think you have everything under control. No matter how much you plan, you can’t control everything. Lately, I’ve been deep in thought, running through endless “what if” scenarios. It got worse after watching the Dark Matter TV series.

 For instance, what if you decide not to have kids? Sure, you’ll skip the “terrible twos” and those sleepless nights with a toddler learning how to sleep. You’ll avoid worrying about how they’ll turn out and all that parenting drama.

But guess what? You’ll still have sleepless nights, only this time, worrying about your future and your spouse’s. And there will be moments when you wonder, “What would life have been like if I had children earlier?”

We’re all afraid of uncertainty—me included. It leads to overthinking about things that might never even happen (and most of the time, they don’t). But when those rare worst-case scenarios do hit, they show up at the most unpredictable times. In Islam, Shaytan knows this fear is a perfect spot to make our hearts weary, dragging us into negativity and distancing us from Allah’s help and grace.

In life, let’s face it: death can come at any time. Even if we live for 100 years, we all grow old and die. Life on this earth is never eternal. That reality is scarier than marriage or marrying the wrong person.

Life is full of uncertainty and messy situations. But as we age, we learn to thrive, survive, and grow stronger in overcoming them. Yes, this includes nightmares involving babies, toddlers, or any other “scary” parts of marriage.

Embrace it. Speaking as someone who once disliked children, but Alhamdulillah, by Allah’s will, I’ve been blessed with a second love after my husband—my son. I’ve become someone I never imagined I would be, and it’s been a beautiful surprise.

What’s even more cliché is realizing, “Oh, so this is what parents have been talking about all along!” Today’s generation (I’m a millennial, by the way, just on the edge of Gen Z) seems overly afraid of change. We overthink, and it distracts us from what matters most: surviving and thriving.

Lastly, the power of tawakkul—trusting that everything we’ve received (which we often think we’ve “achieved”) is by Allah’s help. Honestly, I used to think I was that great for getting this far. But maybe, it was Allah’s help all along that allowed my mistakes to still lead to today’s success.

We don’t control everything. But we do have our Lord to cry out to and ask for help. And in the end, humans are created to survive—not to avoid challenges.

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